Letters to my husband

Day 2

You left me august 31st around noon. Yesterday was day 1 of my life without you and I was numb. I cried a bit when meeting the guy from the funeral home but for the most part I held it together. The day you left I was surrounded by all our best friends and family, we shared memories of you and lots of tears. I couldn’t be in the house, everytime I tried I just kept seeing you on the floor over and over. They tried to save you but I knew you were gone before they even arrived. I hope your journey was peaceful and painless, mine sure isn’t and won’t be. How do I do this babe? You were my everything. My rock through hard times and my partner in crime through everything else. The one that always made me laugh no matter what. You kept a smile on my face everyday for 11 years, but that smile left when you did. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, we were supposed to grow old and leave this world together. Now I have to face this world without you and I don’t want to. I will because you would want me to keep going, but this pain is too much for me. You know I don’t handle emotions very well. Day 2 without you has been miserable. When I first opened my eyes this morning for about 5 seconds….my world was ok and normal and you were still by my side. Then reality hit and I’ve done nothing but cry . This new reality of mine is absolutely dreadful. -you will forever be my always Johnny Marshall –